Partly through my own intentional crafting of my public brand, and partly through ill-advised social media meltdowns when I was in the midst of a bad manic episode 4.5 years ago (now, knock on wood, under control)…
I am known to my readers–particularly you here on Facebook–as a wild, bipolar, BDSM-loving, weed-smoking, polyamorous, indy-p*rn producing, pagan/witch identifying, IDGAF speak-my-mind-come-hell-or-high-water freak who also happens to write enough interesting things to keep people reading.
But that is just my public-facing persona.
In private, I have–in addition to this lifestyle– been living an entirely different persona.
And I’m ready to come clean.
In private, I have been living–and hiding from the public–my life as mild-mannered freelance copyrighter: an ad man.
Like the storied “Organization Man” of the 1950s, I rent out my talents to the highest bidder. (Excepting any project I find morally repellent.)
To fund my wild public-facing lifestyle, in private I am more than willing to write copy aimed to sell things I’m not necessarily passionate about. (Often, I am really excited by they’re up to, but my point is, that’s not a requirement for me to take them on.)
All those “Mission Statements” at the top of people’s resumes, where job aspirants have to say, basically, “My mission in life is to support your company, I was born for nothing else….”
Nah, I don’t do those.
I write shit for my clients. It moves hella product or service for them. (I’m from the Bay Area. I still say “hella.”) They pay me (a fraction) of that hella skrilla. We’re all happy with it, and I go my way. No “life mission” involved, whatsoever.
There’s usually no upside for my clients in having my personal brand associated with theirs. I’m too risky, and risqué, too unpredictable. Hence, I’m usually a behind-the-scenes copywriting henchman for my clients.
For example, I am currently writing some campaign copy for a Democratic presidential candidate. I like many things this candidate has to say, and am not fully on board with others– as is my stance at this point towards most of the Democratic candidates. Nonetheless, this is the candidate who threw down the $$ to rent my writing brain, and I’m happy to help share their ideas, as I think they have some good ones.
(By the way, I haven’t chosen my own candidate to vote for yet. Right now, my candidate is “the Democrat shown by polls to be most likely to win an electoral college victory against Trump, factoring in any likely spoiler effects of a third party, by the time of the California Democratic primary.”)
But all of this is behind-the-scenes, hence my silence about which candidate it is. (I will say, it’s not Biden. Wouldn’t write for him.)
My clients don’t care what I do in the rest of my life, as long as my copy brings in the dollazz. (And if they do care, I fire them as clients.)
Alas, double lives are harder to live in this new era of reduced privacy. And thus, I’m coming clean.
Yes, beneath the freak flag of my personal life, flown so high and mighty, in my private professional life, I’m just another ad-man-for-hire, renting out his mercenary copywriting talents to the highest bidder.
*****
In all seriousness though. Here’s the point I was trying to make in this somewhat silly diatribe above:
We live in a time where it’s more and more likely that any “secret life” you’re leading will come to the fore, somehow or another.
Take the recent, unfortunate story of Congresswoman Katie Hill, a millennial who was the first openly LGBT congressperson from California, and one of the youngest people elected to Congress.
She who was forced to resign in part because of revenge-p*rn images released of her by an abusive ex. (Of course, because of misogyny and societal slut-shaming, these effects are far more likely to impact women than men.)
Goddess forbid something like this ever happens to us–but basically all of us have something on our phones that could get hacked and stolen and used against us.
This election season features the first millennial as a major presidential candidate. At age 37, Pete Buttigieg (no, not my client either) was about 23 when the social media boom really took off circa 2005.
But the youngest millennials, born in the mid-90s, were around 10 in 2005; they were the first generation to spend their entire teen lives sharing the most minute details of their coming-of-age, all the ups and downs, online, for all the world to see, especially Google. Or on their phones, waiting to be hacked or stolen.
That means, as more and more millennials run for office or reach other positions of leadership, they will be facing a dynamic where the things we keep private for fear of public shaming, have more and more likelihood of being used against them at some point.
Since most square careers allow only the slightest deviancy from social norms in their worker-bee employees (*maybe* pink hair or a nose ring, if it’s a *really* liberal work environment…) I think there are basically two approaches to this dynamic, if you do anything freaky, alternative or underworld in your private life:
1. Present a squeaky-clean image in public that corporations can get on board with. If you do anything freaky in private, put that shit on lockdown. Keep it off your social media, don’t be photographed doing anything freaky, no nude selfies or homemade p*rn. If you do take freaky photos with a partner, make sure you all delete that shit if you break up. etc etc.
But some freaky-folk don’t realize there’s another option. It’s really only open to freelancers, but these days, more and more people are freelancers, so it is an option for an increasing number of people. And that’s what I do:
2. Fly your freak-flag high. Put that shit on blast. You’ll alienate a lot of people. But as someone smart once said (I can’t track down who, but it wasn’t me): “A great brand repels as much as it attracts.”
Then, in your “secret life,” behind the scenes, be a boring freelance solider-for-hire to fund your freaky lifestyle. Sign NDAs and make sure your clients know you’ll never reveal your association with them, top-secret.
You won’t be able to run for office or major corporate leadership. You won’t be able to be a school teacher or principal.
But one advantage is that your career is “Anti-fragile,” a concept I learned from Nassim Nicholas Taleb’s book by that name. The basic idea is, certain careers are very fragile.
Like being a House representative. One asshole ex leaking photos of Katie Hill taking a bong rip nude (something most people I know have done) contributed to the ruination of her career. Not blaming Hill here at all–but I am pointing out that her career (or any career like it) is fragile.
Whereas, I’ve probably already put out photos of me taking bong rips nude. (Can’t remember!) In that sense, my career is what Taleb would call “anti-fragile.” It’s pretty hard for controversy to roil me, as I’m already controversial.
Imagine someone trying to embarrass me with photographs of me getting pegged by a Pro Domme with a strap-on.
Actually, that photo would be pretty easy for someone to take, because it was just projected 30 feet tall (damn I’ve got a big ass!) in front of hundreds on a screen at the Pornfilmfestival Berlin, where the first three indy p*rn films I ever co-created (including two I star in) had their world premiere in October.
(BTW, this photo of me in the post is of a new performance character I’m developing, Serah Quill. Say her name fast. That’s the name of a medication I take lol)
I’ve found an equilibrium in my life. I feel good about the work I’m doing in public (which is for the art, not the money) and the work I’m doing in private (which is for the money, not the art).
*****
On this note, I want to say, I’m pretty much done with offering “marketing advice” type writing or courses as part of my public career.
Over the next few months, I’m going to be giving away *all* of the paid courses I’ve ever taught, class by class. No strings attached. No upsells.
Just giving it away, as a “thank you” for following me on this leg of my career. Starting now.
Here’s the first one: Module 1 of my recent 12-module course “Mastering Your Human Capital” (28min video module)
Enjoy. And hopefully you’ll still stick around for all the fun freaky stuff going forward.
Loyally yours,
–Michael
PS and if you want to hire a copywriter to blow up your product or service you’re selling, and bring in the buckets of Benjamins, drop me a line and let’s talk in private. It’ll be our little secret ;)
