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Michael Ellsberg

Lectures, Self-Education and Self-Investment, Videos

How to Invest in Your Own Human Capital

Here is my talk at the Googleplex for the Authors@Google Series

The transcript is available here. 

The audio version is available below.

September 6, 2011 by Michael Ellsberg
Michael Ellsberg

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Michael Ellsberg

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This is the full 7 minute stand-up comedy set from This is the full 7 minute stand-up comedy set from my friend Michael McDonald’s birthday party. Very raunchy!
“Outsourced Therapy” (Stand-Up Comedy) “Outsourced Therapy” (Stand-Up Comedy)
I got my friend @adey_bell’s band logo tattooed I got my friend @adey_bell’s band logo tattooed on my arm as a surprise... watch her reaction... Background: It’s not every day that you’re friends with your favorite musician in the world… And her band logo has never been tattooed before… And you get her logo tattooed on your arm in secret (your first tattoo!)… and you reveal it to her as a surprise at her 40th birthday party! Hint about the meaning of the logo: there are 88 keys on a piano :) The logo was envisioned by Adey and drawn by Ash Weiss. It was tattooed by the fabulously talented Raven (@femmeobscura ) in Berkeley. Thank you Raven for passing me through the portal of my first-ever tattoo so beautifully! I HIGHLY recommend her! If you haven’t listened to Adey’s music yet, and you’re wondering what musician would inspire me to get her logo emblazoned on my arm forevermore, listen to “Great Mother” loud over good speakers or headphones and go from there: https://adey.bandcamp.com/track/great-mother Here’s the story of Adey’s and my friendship—which I read as part of a joint performance piece we did at my fortieth birthday party, seven years ago today, 5/12/2017, entitled “The Joy of Platonic Love”: https://ellsberg.substack.com/p/platonic-love As always, eternal gratitude to Philippe Lewis (Insta @scorpiodreaming ) for connecting me to Adey and her music 11 years ago! 🙏🏻❤️ NOTE: I am aware that the number 88 has been used by hate groups in the United States. For centuries, it has also been—and still is—a widespread symbol of fortune, prosperity and good luck in China. It is also the number of keys on the piano. I am an Ashkenazi Jew who foreswears any use or meaning of hate for this symbol, and am reclaiming this beautiful number (which is also two infinity signs) for its positively-charmed and musical meanings. #tattoo #tattoos #tattoostyle #tattoolovers
My girlfriend @theemilysummer requested that I roa My girlfriend @theemilysummer requested that I roast her for her birthday party in front of her friends. This is what happened… My first ever #standupcomedy #standup
Louisiana just passed a law requiring all public s Louisiana just passed a law requiring all public school classrooms to display the Ten Commandments. But have you seen what depravity the Bible says DIRECTLY AFTER the Ten Commandments? You won’t believe this, but it’s true… Follow me here for more: https://www.tiktok.com/@MichaelEllsberg
Midjourney 6 prompt [a quote from John Stuart Mill Midjourney 6 prompt [a quote from John Stuart Mill, from his 1874 essay "On Nature," in which Mill argues against the tendency to equate "natural" with "morally good"]: "If there are any marks at all of special design in creation, one of the things most evidently designed is that a large proportion of all animals should pass their existence in tormenting and devouring other animals. They have been lavishly fitted out with the instruments necessary for that purpose; their strongest instincts impel them to it and many of them seem to have been constructed incapable of supporting themselves by any other food. If a tenth part of the pains which have been expended in finding benevolent adaptations in all nature had been employed in collecting evidence to blacken the character of the Creator, what scope for comment would not have been found in the entire existence of the lower animals, divided, with scarcely an exception, into devourers and devoured, and a prey to a thousand ills from which they are denied the faculties necessary for protecting themselves. If we are not obliged to believe the animal creation to be the work of a demon, it is because we need not suppose it to have been made by a Being of infinite power. - psychedelic color" Used to illustrate my essay "A Planet of Parasites and the Problem With God" - musings on the existence of God, the problem of evil, the science of parasitic mind control, the simulation hypothesis, and the ethics of creating sentient digital minds... all from the mind of your friendly-neighborhood neurotic existentialist writer who somehow manages to find humor in it all. Find the essay via the “Joyful Pessimism” link in the bio.
Midjourney 6 does lettering well now. These are th Midjourney 6 does lettering well now. These are the lovely ladies of "Ishtar's Angels," the world's first end-of-life bordello, combining sex work, psychedelics, and assisted suicide. They are featured in my dystopian erotic novella "Ishtar's Angel." Wanna ride with them? They'll treat you right... for your last-ever night! Go out with a *bang* at Ishtar's Angels! Read the story via the “Joyful Pessimism” link in the bio.
The “Compendium Maleficarum” (“Compendium of The “Compendium Maleficarum” (“Compendium of Witchcraft”) is a 1608 witch-hunting manual by Italian priest Francesco Maria Guazzo. The book contains many woodcarvings illustrating the alleged tales of witches’ crimes. The woodcarving in the video illustrates the “osculum infame,” or “kiss of shame,” an imagined act of witches performing analingus on the Devil, submitting to him and sealing their pact. Those medieval priests were imaginative, kinky f*ckers! The problem is, like most religious prudes, rather than simply enjoying their phantasmagoric masturbatory fantasies in the privacy of their own church cells and rectories, these priests projected their fantasies (in this case, fantasies of demonic butt-licking) onto others, namely, social outcasts whom they accused of the “crime” witchcraft, then tortured and burned alive. The “Compendium Maleficarum” quotes an accusation read by a judge of the Holy Inquisition in Avignon, France in 1582, which condemned eighteen women and men to burning at the stake, convicted of witchcraft. The accusation contains a lurid, prurient description of a Witches’ Sabbath ceremony leading up to a “kiss of shame,” resulting in an orgy with incubi and succubi (male and female demons who have sex with humans of the opposite sex.) Today, on Halloween, in honor of all the women and men accused of witchcraft and tortured and burned by these perverted inquisitors, I release this spoken word piece: my reading of this lurid inquisitor’s accusation quoted in the “Compendium,” accompanied by the pianist Adey Bell. “The Witches’ Sabbath”: A Selection from Francesco Maria Guazzo’s Compendium Maleficarum” (1608) Read by Michael Ellsberg Piano accompaniment by @adey_bell , playing “Rev. 22:20” by Puscifer. Full video at https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8Bvq4b9/ #witch #witchcraft #witchesofinstagram #witches #pagan #pagansofinstagram
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